Many moons ago, I had a teacher named Carole Chisholm, and I am sure I am starting to annoy her I have written about her on so many different occasions. I have been thinking about her a lot the last few days as I take on this 30 day blogging challenge. I had her for high school English, and I think it was in grade 10, she started us all journaling. She would give us one line, or a quote, or a question, and we could write anything we wanted. With those journals she fuelled my desire to write. And I still remember my favourites, and I even kept some of the old scribblers from 25 years ago. On way day she gave us the task of creating our bucket list. At 15, I remember that we had to ask what a bucket list was, and why would someone want to make one? I can't remember her exact reply, but it was something like, "Everyone should have desires, dreams and hopes. It is what makes life interesting."
And so that night I sat down and created a bucket list. Now remember, I grew up in rural Nova Scotia, and I had not experienced too much of the world except for in the books that I loved so much. So I had things like, "I want to watch fireworks with someone who loves me." and "I want to go to the Calgary Stampede someday". I think I came up with about 24 things. And then I turned 19, and had a bone marrow transplant, and my bucket list changed. I sat down one night a few months after the chemo had taken my hair and came up with a new list. I wanted to go to Graceland, get married, and live to see 30. That was my goal. I recently came across that list, and you know what? With the help of Tim Murphy, who found my list in my bible shortly after we started dating, I crossed almost everything off that list, except, ironically, getting to the Calgary Stampede.
He married me when I thought I was going to die before I would ever experience such a thing. He took me to Graceland, he watched fireworks with me in DisneyWorld, we had children together that were miracles, and adopted the most beautiful little girl you have ever seen. I would say he added things that I did not even know were on my list, such as romantic dinners, date nights with the mattress on the floor when we were so broke we couldn't afford anything else, new puppies when he would rather not have puppies, taking me to warm climates when I thought I would hate it and had the exact opposite reaction, and telling he loves me every day.
So I realized the other day, that it is time for me to create a new bucket list. I turned 40 this year, and like Ms. Chisholm said all those years ago, I want to keep life interesting. So I no longer what to get married, have children(well, maybe one or two more), and material things have never been something that had great appeal to me(especially since the transplant...something about almost dying that makes you realize you don't need a lot of "stuff). So what should be on my bucket list? I would say number one would definitely be more travel with the kids and Tim before they grow up and start doing their own trips. I love travelling with them, it is so much fun seeing their reactions to new experiences, food and culture....it makes it all the more fun. And there are some trips that I want to take with Tim to experience the country with him...Thailand, South Africa, and we still have to get to Vegas.
I would like to own property on a remote island off Cape Breton. This has been a dream of mine since I can remember, probably from the first time I went to Port Hood Island when I was in Guides. When I realized that Tim loved the idea as well, it felt like it was something that we would accomplish eventually. We sometimes day dream about having a restaurant there, with our own gardens, and chickens....and Tim wants some pygmy goats(go figure).
My bucket list would include having more time to volunteer more in my community. For seven years in Cape Breton I volunteered with the palliative care program there, and I still miss it. The patients and families that I got to know often became like family, and it was one thing, like fostering that seemed like a part of me.
Those are the big things. But I have many silly, fun and crazy things that I would still love to do in my life. One time we were walking around Quidi Vidi in St. John's, Newfoundland, and we came across a small cottage that was open to the public. It had old books and maps and historical items related to the little community. We started talking to the old lady who lived there, and found out that she was closing shop that week, to take a long awaited trip to Africa. She was 84 at the time, and I will never, ever forget her advice to us on that warm summer day in August. She said that if you stop dreaming and stop moving, life will stop too, and where would the fun be in that? We had gotten engaged the night before and she told us to love each other with passion, and to live each day to the fullest. I often wondered how she enjoyed her trip.
I want to drive a convertible on a deserted desert highway, one that can go fast. I want to take a hot air balloon ride. I want to see Elton John in concert. I want to take thai cooking lessons, and write a frigging book once and for all! There are many other things that sitting here tonight I realize I want to do in life....I guess I better get busy on that new bucket list!
Fenwick MacIntosh responds to sexual allegations, maintains innocence
SYDNEY — The man at the centre of an infamous case of historic sexual abuse allegations says he’d like to see criminal charges filed against some of his accusers.
Ernest Fenwick MacIntosh wrote to provincial Justice Minister Ross Landry on May 25.
Ernest Fenwick MacIntosh wrote to provincial Justice Minister Ross Landry on May 25.
In the four-page letter, MacIntosh notes that he has always maintained his innocence. At trial, he testified that he had no sexual contact with some of the complainants and had consensual relations with others when they were above the age of consent.
The Cape Breton Post received a copy of the letter sent to Landry by mail from MacIntosh, with a return mailing address in Dartmouth but no other contact information. The Post confirmed with a provincial government spokesperson that the letter was sent to Landry. MacIntosh’s lawyer, Brian Casey, confirmed that his client wrote the letter.
In the letter, MacIntosh singles out two complainants, who can only be identified as DRS and JH, saying he believes they should be charged with “perjury, with misleading a police investigation, with mischief and with any other relevant charges.”
MacIntosh’s convictions on 17 counts of sexually abusing multiple young males in the 1970s were quashed by the Nova Scotia Court of Appeal, which found it took too long for the Crown to bring him to trial. He was first charged in 1995 and was convicted 15 years later at two trials. He had been extradited from India to stand trial in 2007. The Supreme Court of Canada upheld the staying of the charges based on delay.
“The appeal court seriously questioned the credibility and collusion of the complainants which the trial judge had ‘ignored’ and stayed all of the charges,” MacIntosh wrote to Landry.
He also made reference to a number of the complainants as having been found not to be boys when the offences are alleged to have occurred by the trial judges, instead they were referred to as young men.
MacIntosh noted he has read media reports suggesting Landry’s department may initiate an inquiry looking into what caused delays in the matter going to trial.
“I would welcome an inquiry, but I would expect any inquiry to focus on all aspects of the case, particularly the collusion among the complainants the blatant misrepresentation of the truth by the complainants, the deliberate lying by at least two of the complainants and the sloppy misrepresentation of evidence by the trial judge, as well as delay issues,” MacIntosh wrote.
He noted that the Nova Scotia Court of Appeal found that one of the trial judges misunderstood some of the evidence in reaching his decision and would have ordered a new trial if the convictions hadn’t been stayed based on delay.
“I’m not even mad at him anymore,” DRS said in an interview after hearing about the letter, noting he remains angry with attorneys, police and agencies involved with the matter over the years. “He is just a sick human being.”
“He never ceases to amaze me, he just wants his profile and people to think it was consensual and this is really bothering him and I’m glad it’s bothering him,” said RM, another complainant.
MacIntosh also detailed to Landry the ways in which he has been affected by the allegations against him over the years, including losing his job, being incarcerated in India and Canada for a total of 19 months, spending an additional three-and-a-half years on house arrest and being beaten twice by other inmates. He said he suffered financially, spending his savings on legal fees, and his health was affected.
Through Casey, The Post requested an interview with MacIntosh. Casey indicated MacIntosh was out of the country and not available for an interview.
MacIntosh has two unrelated but similar convictions on his record dating back to the 1980s for incidents that occurred in Newfoundland and Labrador.
A few months ago, I was literally sick to my stomach when the charges against MacIntosh were thrown out when the courts decided that it had taken too long to bring him to trial. I guess they all forgot that his victims live with what he did every single day. But I could not believe the fucking nerve, and excuse my language, but really....where does he get the evilness to come out and say that he believes that the victims should now be charged. Instead of bringing more attention to himself, and still abusing these victims that he abused for so many years, this man needs to find a rock and get under it. He should not be allowed to ever have contact with any children again, and he should not be allowed to be "out of the country" if there are still other charges pending! And give me a goddam break about the "financial" distress....how is he affording to leave the country now?
I am mad at the courts, but I am also mad at myself. We constantly sit back and let these men abuse innocent children, and then abuse the legal system and get away with what they have done. I felt totally humiliated to contact one of the victims after the charges were thrown out...I felt like we had all let him down some how. I would say we are friends now, and he is by far one of the most courageous and inspiring people that I have the privilege to all a friend. I cried last night thinking of him reading that article. Can you imagine being abused, having the charges tossed out and then have the son of a bitch who caused you so much grief in the press saying that the victims should be charged? I don't know how he functions, because I have anger about the situation, so how does he cope?
I don't think I have ever thought that someone deserved to have something bad happen to him, but I truly think Fen MacIntosh is an evil human being, who will never do anything to show remorse for what he has done. He deserves some suffering here on earth so that his victims can see it....for they won't have the luxury of seeing him burn in hell.
My heart goes out to MacIntosh's victims, but also to all the other victims of sexual abuse who suffer in silence because they have been shamed into not saying anything. I feel for them, because their burdens are so heavy. And I hope that someday there will be a justice system that works for the victims, instead of for the animals who violate our innocent children.




