It's all about the weight, again.

So for all my talk last year, about how I "finally got it" about getting healthy and losing weight, I'm back in the same boat, and maybe even a bigger boat than before! From Christmas of last year until August or so, I lost. I made the connection and I was looking after myself pretty well. During those months I even said how I realized that when things came up I tended to put myself on the back burner, and I wasn't going to do that any more. But guess what? Life threw us a few curves, and again, I didn't put my health or myself first. In the last week or so I made some hard confessions to myself, and to Tim(hubby). And so I thought I would share with you all as well.

The first confession is that since Tim is still struggling with pain and some issues from his accident, and can often be restricted from doing all that he used to do, I have some terrible guilt about being able to do more. So I don't. I haven't been going for walks or to the gym, or really, anything. And of course, Tim is/was the first one to say that I should not be feeling like that at all. And he doesn't want me to be feeling gross/unhealthy because of his situation.

The second confession is that I just cannot get motivated this time around. I thought that in going home I would get motivated to lose before we went, but nope, it didn't happen. And since we came back from Nova Scotia I have to admit I have been in bit of a funk, one that often comes in the fall when the kids go back to school, but it came early this year.

So why can't I get motivated? I am not sure, but I thinking that on Thursdays I will once again start posting my weight. It was a motivator for me when I did it last year, and I found that so many others were joining me in their weight loss journey. Someone said to me the other day that when I was posting maybe it was a huge motivator to me not to be humiliated by gaining, maybe she's right.

This last week I know that I felt inspired for the first time in a while to get back on track, and that was thanks to Morley Googoo. We went to school with Morley many moons ago in Nova Scotia, and about three months ago he had a heart attack and had to undergo surgery. He spontaneously posted a video and challenged other males to get serious about their health, especially Aboriginal men, who have a very low life expectancy in Canada. Morley has always been someone who spoke from his heart, and he has such a genuine concern for his community and his people that it just struck a real nerve with me, and that afternoon, I found myself getting my sneakers on and going for a walk. And then again the next day, and the next. I will post the first video he did, and he is going to start a page, but in the meantime if you feel inspired to join him, he is posting updates every day and I know he would love to hear from others who have felt inspired as well.

I have picked Thursdays to post this time around, because that is TOPS(Taking off pounds sensibly)night, and when I will be getting weighed out here in Fort McMurray. If you see me chowing down on something unhealthy some where in Fort McMurray, feel free to call me out on Facebook about it,  I need all the help I can get. Next year is our 20th wedding anniversary, and Mitchell's graduation. Two events that I would like my husband and son be proud of how I look, and that I fought to get the weight off.

One week from tonight, the weight postings will begin, and I am quite sure that I have gained all my weight back, that's pretty humiliating to admit, and I am sure the first few posts will be quite painful. I just have to remember that it is just a number and that those that love me will not love me less because I publish how much I weigh. It's just a number, right?

Here is the link to Morley's video! Just copy it, and then go to it to watch.

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=10154578414135338

And one for fun.