The last few months I had mostly blogged about my experience of when I was sick. But just before Christmas I had done a few days of "gratitude", and I had such great feedback from those posts, and had people saying that they were stopping to say thank you to people in their lives, that I wanted to continue. So the last few days I sat down and worked on quite an extensive list of people, places and things that I love, that I cherish, and that have shaped me to somehow make me into the person that I am today. With Valentine's Day coming up in a month, I thought it would be a great time to share all this love. There will be some people that you may have never heard of before, but they made a difference in my life, and perhaps by hearing our stories of connection it will make you think of someone, and you will get in touch with them as a result. It will be a fun project for me, as I even had fun just doing the list.
I will start with the obvious, and I am sure he will come up a few times in the next month, and that is my husband, Tim, who I have now been with for almost 20 years, and married for 18 of those year. To say that we have had a "perfect" marriage would be a lie, as any of you who are married know, there are many things that happen in your lives together that will test your patience, your love and your commitment. We have been broke, out of work, we have lost babies, loved ones and friends, and we have had days where we have been on each others last nerve, and yes, I know I can drive him just as crazy as he drives me on my bad days. But we have also been married, had babies, made moves, had trips, and yes, lost loved ones....all together. We have a history together that I would not trade for all the money in the world. He knew my grandmothers, and I fell in love with his grandfather, when I start a story about something from years ago, he will sometimes pick up the story, and he laughs when I knowingly ask him if he remembers a certain story...because I know how terrible his memory is, and if he didn't have me around he would lose most of his past life.
We were just 22 when we got married, and I was totally, madly and completely in love with him. So many people thought we would never last-that as we grew older we would grow apart. But I think our love has changed since then, but it has not lessened, we are more complimentary of each other, as he often leads with his head, and I with my heart. He married me when I did not think I would ever have children, and he thought I was enough...that was a huge thing for me at that time, and even now when I think that he was willing to give up the opportunity to ever have a biological child to be with me, well, it staggers me. He has believed in me when I didn't believe in myself, and I have supported him when others thought I was insane for following him into new adventures.
There were times when I thought we were done, especially when we made the move across the country to Fort McMurray. I was not sure what I wanted at that time, and the new city and taking on things when I left all my friends, family and comfort zones was very hard. But we recommitted and pushed through because we thought it was the best thing for our family, and it turned out that it probably the best thing that we have done for our family in all our 18 years together. But in the last year or two we had grown complacent, I would not say we were taking each other for granted, but we were busy. Busy with kids, busy with work, busy with life, but not really standing still for each other. That all changed on July 18, 2012, when I received a call that not only reminded me that I loved Tim, but it terrified me to think of what my life would look like without him. I am still not quite ready to write all about that day yet, but Tim was hit by a drunk driver, and even today, over 180 days later, I get overwhelmed when I think of how differently that day could have ended. The Catholic girl in me had not said that many prayers in quite a few years, I bargained with God all day that I would be a better wife, if he would just let Tim be here with me. It was a great reminder for me that I am blessed to have him in my life, and I can only hope that we have another 20 years together.
All the posts will not be this long, or "sappy", and some will be very funny for the people they are about. Mom and Dad, you made the list, so sorry, but you will be written about eventually this month...but it's all good!