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Wednesday, May 15, 2013

There will always be haters mom....

The title of this blog is what my ever so wise, almost 14 year old son said to me this morning.  As a rule now I don't go looking for comments on my columns or blogs any more.  I don't look at the websites, and honestly, it is because some days I cannot handle the anger and hatred that some people send my way by way of their comments.  Don't get me wrong, I have met some fantastic people through my writing, ones that share their stories and their lives with me, and for that I am blessed.  But every so often someone gets to me by sending me a personal email to my email box, and I click on it and it opens, and it usually changes my day.  This morning I had a few emails, and I must have been visably shaken, as Nathanial, the said almost 14 year old, asked me what was wrong, when I read him some of the comments, he just said, "Mom, there will always be haters."  Isn't that an unfortunate statement?  Why do people feel the need to attack and spread hatred?  It is so depressing.

What is the cause for all the hate today?  I wrote a column for the Cape Breton Post about a rant that a woman from Fort McMurray had on her wall over a month ago.  Lisa Boutilier felt the need to defend her community, and I, as always was intrigued by the huge and strong response that she got on her wall.  Here is the column that appeared in today's Cape Breton Post:


Fellow Cape Bretoner’s rant about Fort McMurray goes viral


Now I try to avoid the comments, and any drama, but this morning my email box was flooded with emails.  I thought I would share one with you to give you an idea why it affects me so much.  The man(I am assuming it is a man) did not sign his name, and his email address was C Mac...so really, it could be anyone.  It is always the personal things that people that say about my family that upsets me the most....here is just one of the emails I received today:

Lisa Boutilier not only disrespected Nova Scotia and the other provinces ( not Alberta) but herself. All her views were from behind the dollar. If that was money talking that would be what money said. People do not hate Alberta. People hate the fact that they love where they are from. End of story. Alberta is full of drug addicts and or people who live well beyond their means and who post regularly of their wonderful new purchases. People in other provinces work just as hard as Albertans. Canada is a country full of hard workers. People who are proud of a hard days work. Do not take away from the fact that some people do not want to leave their place of birth, their mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers and these people are the true to themselves. Their love runs deeper than the pocketbook. Those who go out there and choose not to relocate have deeper family roots that  take precedence over money. They go because they are usually in a tight spot and have no choice. Those that relocate know in their hearts that they are  "greedy"  enough and they make the choice to live the high life on a constant. So dont find fault with good decent people who "have" to go and sacrifice but cannot bring themselves mentally to call Alberta home. Some make a choice to have it all.  Others make a choice to survive without selling their soul.  
Cape Breton is one of the most beautiful spots in the world. Those who stay and fight on make me proud. They didnt give up and all pack a plane outwest. Those that left, gave up. So show respect to those who know a good struggle. They are teaching their children what really matters. Love!

As I read this email, I found it ironic that I have now gone three nights of sleep to help a child in our foster home right now, my life, and my house is in chaos, and one of my best friends had to come so I could at least get in the shower today.  Lisa is a single mom, who has raised fantastic children who have all become contributing members of the community, all with hearts of gold.  To judge us and say that we are greedy and not decent tore at me today in my already vulnerable, sleep deprived state.  How dare this person judge us all, and not just me, but all Albertans so harshly?  All I can do is wonder, because this type of email does not do anything productive, it just makes me sad for the day, and wonder if I made wrong decisions along the way.  But then I pull up my boot straps and think of how happy we are...struggling, but happy.  For you see, Tim, hubby, was off work for months, and living in Fort McMurray for months with no full income is no easy task.  But let me tell you, we did it, we did it with love.....love for each other and our children, and love from our communities both here in Fort McMurray and in Nova Scotia.  Because no matter what, we all come from some where, and we may move away and make homes in new communities to try to make a better life...but we are all just trying to do our best.  I wish I was never personally attacked and have a sad day like today, but then I would have to give up having an opinion and writing, and that's never going to happen, lol, as much as some might like that!  When you read the article link, you can scroll down to see some more hate(I couldn't help but look when I went to copy the link).  Too bad I couldn't meet all the haters to show them parts of our lives in Fort McMurray and maybe the next time they might think before spreading such hate.  

And finally, the Muppets!  Yep, I watch the Muppets when the world gets me down...there is your secret info for the day!

7 comments:

  1. ARLENE MACDONALDMay 15, 2013 at 1:20 PM

    AWESOME VERNA , DON'T LET SOMEONE'S WORDS DESTROY YOU WONDERFUL JOB YOUR DOING, LET THEM RANT THAT SHOWS THEIR TRUE COLORS IT'S TERARABLE WHEN ONE CAN'T EXPRESS THEIR OPNION WITHOUT BEING RUN DOWN THERE ARE NICER WAYS TO EXPRESS YOUR OPNION THAN BY PUTTIN SOMEONE DOWN , KEEP IT UP GIRL YOUR DOING GREAT

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  2. Verna, you know I am no stranger to hate mail. I have messaged you privately with my motto. Practice it daily until you believe it, and then the haters will never, ever bother you again. Now when I get hate mail (unless it's a threat of bodily harm, which has happened)I laugh!

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  3. Dear Verna, it's no bloody wonder your house is a mess ,you are too busy gobbing off about poor lil' ol you....do you have any idea how small and pathetic you sound!Like, who cares what YOU think.there are people gone down worse roads than you and they are at least a little upbeat, you would drive anyone into a depression, so stand back and take a goody, goody look at yourself.Good for you and 'hubby' for moving away, i'm sure your C.B. neighbors must be friggin relieved...Enjoy the filthy, dirty, air and commuinty....

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    1. And you, anonymous coward, are no better than a schoolyard bully. How does it feel to be what's wrong with this world, anyhow?

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  4. I do agree that some people DO move here out of necessity and it is ultimately their goal to return home, I see NO fault in that. What I DO see fault in, is those people who come here out of necessity and claim that its the worst decision of their life. People, please keep in mind that this is more than just a 'money town' to some people. This is our HOME. This is where WE are from, this is the town that we love like you love your hometown. I was born and raised here and while it hasn't always been easy, it also hasn't always been that booming money town, this is my roots. this is where my family has been for the last 50 years. Do not fault me for wanting to defend my home in the same manner that you defend yours.
    Kudos to you Verna ( & Theresa, i've read your posts as well) for supporting our community and those who strive to make it more than just the boom town and land of financial opportunity that some people seem to take for granted.

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  5. Anonymous coward schoolyard bully above, you are so wrong
    This community is beautiful and I have had health problems simply go away that I had in Ontario. I can only attribute that to the clean air and healthy life I life in FORT MCMURRAY. Asthma and inner ear problems that I had for a decade simply disappeared after moving here.

    I moved from Sask to Ont
    Ont to Australia
    Australia back to Ont
    Then I moved from Ont to Alberta

    It is all Canada, It is all beautiful. It is not greedy to move it is brave. I see myself as a brave adventurer. Most of our grandparents moved from other Continents! Why would it be a big deal to move to another province?

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  6. Wow AnonymousMay 15, 2013 at 5:23 PM... if Verna is so pathetic what does that make you since you take the time to read her blog while claiming she would drive anyone into a depression?

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