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Tuesday, January 7, 2014

My most humbling post EVER...

I know I had promised to post my weight and get back on track last night, but once I got on the scale and had my little break down I was in no mood.  This morning is my most humiliating post yet.  I thought it was bad last year to sit down and tell you my weight was at 204.4 that first January day that I shared in 2013.  I lost ever week from that day until June, and now I sit here again, shaking my head, not really believing what I have let happen.

But one realization I have made is that I am a huge stress eater.  I am not an emotional eater....because I hardly eat at all when I get really upset, and I don't use food for happiness either.  But when my life is stressful, when I am dealing with the children a lot on my own because Tim is away, or when Tim is off work and in pain due to surgery, or I am waiting for test results for myself, I get stressed, and I eat.  I don't talk well about my emotions with others besides Tim(poor guy should be registered as a therapist by now), and I don't want to be dumping on him all the time, so that is what my weak point is with food, and as many know, the last few months have been pretty stressful for us.  It seems our lives changed and went off a little course when the drunk driver hit Tim, and life hasn't really returned to where we feel comfortable yet. Tim is still dealing with pain, we are still dealing with financial strain due to all the time off, and I have been having my own medical issues the last few months.

So now I am going to start trying to take back my power once again, and that begins with me having control over my body, how I am treating it, and what I am putting into it.  This morning, I am embarrassed to say that I sit at 200.4, again.  Just 4 pounds short of where I was last year, after losing almost 30 pounds.

I have a new sympathy for women who are in the media spotlight, I can't imagine being in front of a camera and facing the scrutiny of those critics who seem to love when people fall off pace.  Everyone has always been supportive here, and some even worked with me last year in their own goals.  So if you want to send me any emails about goals you are setting, please feel free, I will take all the support I can get, and maybe it will be easier doing it together!

Some wonder why I post my weight(and I will continue to every Tuesday morning now), and I do it because it is what works for me.  I like having that pressure that people will be looking to see if I lost or gained...it makes me work a bit harder.  It is just what works for me, and I have found that when I keep up with entering my food on my "Fitness Pal" app, that works for me too.  It always amazes me how many extra calories we take in when we are not aware of it.  I am still dumbfounded by how many calories are in cheesecake, and once I found that out about 8 months ago, I haven't had a piece since.

So let's start a new year with a new challenge, here we go!!

1 comment:

  1. This eating is so challenging. As someone who overeats on a good day, and then you add in some stress, I really understand. One thing that has helped me when I am in that determined to lose weight mode, is to have my own dinner plate, which is really a luncheon plate. It does help to keep the serving size down. My thoughts are with you, and wish you well.

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